The rush of infatuation leads people to take the next steps in their relationship without looking objectively at the odds of the relationship succeeding.
Maybe I’m being old fashioned and just plain unrealistic to think that I should wait for someone who’s actually interested enough to want to chase me, who knows for certain from the out that they want a relationship with me – and who doesn’t need talking into the bloody thing.So, from now on I’m sticking to my guns – if you won’t call it after eight weeks, then I’m out of there.Maybe that’s a bit dogmatic but everyone’s got to draw a line somewhere.Online dating, and our ability to be in constant contact with everyone we know via text, email or social media make us unwilling to commit to one person, and more likely to want to hedge our bets. In an article I wrote earlier this year about modern dating, I used the example of a man I’d been sleeping with for over a year, who got cross when I referred to him as my boyfriend.So, let me help you out with some suggestions next time you’re asked to define your non-relationship: “Well Gran, it’s funny you should ask, there is someone on the scene, we’re: sleeping together/seeing each other/dating/friends with benefits/friends (apparently the same as friends with benefits, but twice as infuriating) /having an affair (it’s unfortunate when, after 12 dates you discover that his reticence to define your relationship is down to his previously unmentioned wife) or wasting each other’s time until something better comes along.” I agree that technology – evil, brain-sapping technology – might play its part here. When I asked for further clarification as to what we were doing he said “We’re friends - you’re my friend.” Hilariously, when the article in question came out, a couple of my other exes read the piece and took credit for that particular quote (hint: it was none of them), which is a sorry example of quite how often I've gone down that particular road. My new rule is, eight weeks – if someone won’t call it after eight weeks, then I’m out of there.