We could explain many reasons why a person evolves from “I’m in love with you,” to “I’m not in love with you.” In John Gottman sums it, “‘feeling unloved’ was the most commonly cited reason for wanting a divorce (67% of women)…and sensitivity to being belittled (59% men and women)…We must conclude that most marriages end…[as] the result of people…not feeling liked, loved, and respected.” Did you notice that “not feeling liked, loved, and respected” part? When Paul gave command that husbands and wives must sexually fulfill each other, he pointed out, “so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5) God didn’t justify sexual immorality, but He did predict a person’s vulnerability to it if the marriage isn’t filling that deep-seated human need for sexual fulfillment.
If the one who should be fulfilling their needs for emotional closeness and being liked, loved, and respected is not doing that, folks become vulnerable to having someone else fulfill those needs. The same goes with other human needs that should be fulfilled in marriage.
Sometimes people that have been cheated against say it, not because there is someone else in their lives but because of their hurt and anger.
For example, our success rate when working with couples in trouble is that three out of four couples stay married and make their relationship stronger if they attend my workshop.
I encourage couples to come even when one of them is “madly in love” with another.
Check out our Save My Marriage Course – where you’ll learn how to bring your spouse back to the marriage.
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